JianMe

My homebirth journey with JianMeI have had 4 hospital deliveries with the works – shaved, given an enema, doped with pitocin, endured painful labor on my back, vaginal examined every so often to determine extent of dilation, legs dangled in stirrups, yelled at to push, episiotomy for all 4, stitched, no idea if umbilical cord was cut before pulsation stopped...I basically surrendered myself to be manipulated and violated by the doctor and nurses. After each and every one I felt horribly exhausted, like I had just completed a marathon. It was so engraved in my mind that this was how babies were born that I never questioned their procedures and was just thankful that baby had 10 fingers and toes.

My thick fog of delusion was finally lifted after separate encounters with 2 wonderful women. Hoi Yan made homebirthing acceptable, Teri made it seem doable. I told myself that if I were to get pregnant again, it would be a homebirth. Hubby didn't take it seriously and since we weren't planning on having anymore kids, he said "Ya, ya whatever you wish" and brushed it off as one of my crazy schemes. Well, I did get pregnant again and reminded him of his consent of me doing a homebirth. He, of course, retorted "How was I to know you would get pregnant again!"
Conquering FearThe what-ifs still clouded my mind. This is my list to elevate the anxiety (in no particular order)
1. Scrutinize all the documents on home/water/gentle/unassisted birth . Lots of gems online. Get inspired! Homebirthing women are extraordinary!
2. Books
Homebirthing stories was reassuring. Ina May's book has a good compilation. Lots of stories here and on Wai Han's website as well. Another musthave was Hypnobirthing:The Mongan Method which was essential for me as I didn't attend sifu's hypnobirthing class.
Other books that opened up my mind were Birth Reborn by Michel Odent and the Birth Partner by Penny Simkin (thank you Zas)

3. Watched gentle birthing videos. Hayati's list of beautiful births was my favourite.
4. Surrounded myself with positive, pro-homebirth, Go-For-It people.
5. Avoided negative, fear-inducing people at all cost.

Preparing the kidsI didn't do much. For those who are curious as to what I mean by nothing much…
with my 14yo, I left my reading materials all over the house, talked openly about homebirthing – my feelings, my thoughts, what I plan to do next, what should be done, put on the hypnobirthing CD on the DVD player so that everyone hears it . Btw I never got through more than 10minutes of the CD as my 6yo found it annoying and would promptly change the CD to his XMen DVD for my viewing pleasure.
With my 3boys (8yo, 6yo, 4yo):
I started off reading "Hello Baby" a book I bought at a book sale not knowing that it was on a home birth. They knew there was a baby growing inside me and I told them that baby will be born at home just like in the book.
Boys would watch gentle birthing/ water birth on Youtube with me. Later they wanted to know how the baby got in there, so went on to watch animations of the fertilization of the egg and its development to a baby. Nearing EDD as Odent's book was my bedtime reading, the boys would peer over my shoulder to look at the many photos of women in various stages of labor and babies being born. The boys would ask if it was painful as some photos showed women with a pained grimace and I would tell them that it could hurt but needn't be painful if we didn't fear birth and flip to a woman experiencing orgasmic birth to show them a smiley woman in labor.
March 31^st 2012
7.45amExperienced mild surges. My first thought "Oh No, I haven't listened to that hypnobirthing CD to completion"
Put it on.
Fell asleep midway.

No longer felt any surges so I went about my daily routine with the kids.

11pm

Heard 3
pops that felt like little bubbles bursting, followed by a trickle of fluid. My water bag burst!
My First Thought " SMS sifu!"

Me: Water bag just broke
Sifu: what colour?
rushed to site of my puddle to examine the colour…
Me: brown. No smell
Sifu: it's not green? Brown could be because of mucus plug. Any surges?

Me: None

Sifu: Go to sleep. Action will only start at midnight.

Meanwhile, Hubby leaped into action. Gave the pool a wipe. Instructed the boys to fill the pool up with the garden hose. Then he decided to rearrange the mattresses. I have no idea how he managed to move 2 king sized and 4 single mattresses. And put everything into order in 1 hour.
14yo was put in charge of boiling water. She got out every available kettle and pot and boiled for 2 hours.

As for me, I couldn't sleep. No surges still. I walked around, snapping photos. Rolled the birth ball out to the pool. Made sure clothes for me and baby, chux pads, colander for placenta, sanitary pads were at hand.

4yo said I should walk in the garden. So I took his hand and strolled around our garden enjoying the night breeze and night sky.

I suddenly forgot all the birthing positions. Internet was down due to the early morning storm. Luckily the 'Birth Partner' book had 2 full pages of various positions to refer to but I found walking aimlessly most comforting.

April 1^st 2012
First surge came in at 12.14am. Swayed on the birth ball. 8yo was put in charge of recording time of each surge.
Surges came in at 12.20 12.22 12.26 12.31 12.36 12.41 12.44 12.49 I tried to lie down once but the surge that greeted me was exceptionally painful, so I went back to walking. The surge felt like mild stomach cramps. Very different compared to Pitocin induced ones which were terribly, toe-curling painful or maybe it was painful because I was made to lie down.
12.52 12.55
Tested the pool. Water felt too cool. More hot water was added in.


Felt a strong surge that made a puddle on the floor. Baby was coming soon.
Went into the pool.
Squatting felt rather awkward. Kneeling with my arms and forehead resting on the edge of the pool felt better.
Water level was rather low as it only reached mid-butt when I kneeled down.
Hubby stuffed huge cushions under one end of the pool to elevate the water level on my end.
4yo wanted to leap into the pool with me. 8yo and 6yo were deployed to keep 4yo entertained. I had wanted the boys to witness the birth but it was hard to concentrate with 4yo around.

Another 2 strong surges.

Hubby came into pool with me.

I felt the 'Ring of Fire". I kept on breathing the baby down. Resisted all urge to push.

Hubby helped to support the perineum.

One surge later..
Hubby yelled "the head is out"
Next came the rest of the baby.
1.10am
It was a girl! We didn't know till then.
Hubby caught hold of her and cradled her in his arms while helping me to maneuver around the umbilical cord so that I could sit down to admire our latest cutie.

Everything happened super fast. The baby was out before I knew it.
I got out of the pool and made my way to a chair, telling my 14yo, Ask AuntyWH what to do next!

Sifu: Make sure exit of placenta is not blocked

How silly of me! So the colander with sieve was placed in the potty before I sat on it while waiting for the placenta to be birthed.

Hubby , 14yo, 8yo, 6yo and 4yo surrounded me as I sat there. Baby took the opportunity to gaze at everyone around her. It was amazing to see her so alert.

Placenta oozed out with a plop.

Hubby rinsed the placenta under running water, pat it dry with a cloth napkin then sprinkled it with powdered rosemary.

Baby nursed till 5am.

April 2^nd 2 KK nurses came to check on me without warning. No one alerted them of the birth. It was just that I had been skipping my appointments. They took one look at the placenta, panicked and called for back up.

Minutes later a wailing ambulance drove onto my front lawn, stretcher was wheeled out, nurses jumped out and charged into my room.
I am so glad I knew how to handled them thanks to all the stories told in this group.

I refused to follow them to the hospital or allow them to cut the baby's cord or have my baby vaccinated.

The doctor had no idea what to do with me. She called her boss and then her boss's boss. In the end the doctor was told to write out a document that clearly stated that we knew the risks involved and that we absolved them of all responsibilities. Hubby and I signed it and they left.

3 hours later, the district nurse came for a visit. She had impeccable bedside manners. Calm and ready to understand our actions. This was a contrast from the earlier nurses who could do with some lessons on how to deal with cases that do not follow protocol.

  

For the next few days nurses from Pasir Panjang and Teluk Kemang came daily to view me and my baby. They came in groups of 4, there was always a new face in the group. I felt like the latest attraction in PD.

Don't give birth lying down!

post date

I found out that it is a policy at the Klinik Kesihatan that if baby is not born 6 days postdate (Postdate is when baby is not out by EDD -estimated due date) , baby will be induced.
How frightfully threatening.

Please read Why I don't do post dates

Another article on post date babies that states post date is PAST 42weeks, NOT 40 weeks

All my babies were induced based on doctor's lack of patience or his holiday plans or because "Baby is ready! Let's get him out. Does tomorrow fit your schedule?"
Being completely uneducated about birthing and trusting my doctor's judgement, I went along with all 4 inductions. I didn't know the risks involved....then.
Well, not anymore. I trust baby will tell me when it is time.

To quote from the 1st article "There is no such thing as postdates, just prebaby"

Ecstatic Birth

My education continues....
Read more on ecsatic birth here.

5 weeks to EDD

Books on getting educated on birthing gently.
Bottom 2 books are on loan from a wonderful homeschooling -pro gentle birth mom.
My pink Klinik Kesihatan booklet is on the bottom right. The pink booklet, my identification card, a police report on accidental home birth and marriage certificate is necessary when DH registers baby5's homebirth at JPN.

Birth ball and mat made from natural coconut fibres from the mom that cleared the haze and ignited the homebirth journey for me.
Birth Ball is lovingly used now and will be used during birthing. More on birth ball here.
Birth mat would be an alternative to the birth pool, to kneel or squat on while baby is received.

Now to decide what sort of diapers to get - most probably non-ecofriendly, disposable ones for the first 2 months and move on to washable ones when I get back to PD and fierce sunshine.

I have 5 weeks to go shopping for:
1)an inflatable pool that would fit in a 700sqf apartment but deep enough for water level to reach my armpits. More info on waterbirth here.
2)fishnet to scoop up poo
3)stock up fridge and kitchen with food to feed 4 kids and a hungry lactating mother
4)powdered rosemary to preserve placenta. More on lotus birth here.
5) shower curtain to line floors for quick clean up - I already have a stack of old towels ready to mop up spills and such

Homebirth...getting ready with books

This book came highly recommended.

The only CD I own that prohibits listening in moving vehicles.

Lots of easy to follow instructions and comparison between homebirthing and hospital births.

I especially liked the chapter on the history of obstetrics. It was a very eye-opening read.

For all my babies, I had just followed my obgyn's advice from the first visit to delivery. I was the perfect, compliant, never questioning patient.

"As long as baby is healthy" was my philosophy back then, it didn't matter how I was manhandled, humiliated, cut and sewn up.

With my 5th baby, it has finally dawned on me that I have been a dimwit.

Probably baby No5 triggered some grey cells. Baby No5 is one very strong willed baby. No way will baby No5 be induced into the world without permission.

I have been very fortunate to have supportive homebirth mothers who had willingly shared their inspiring birth stories. I thank them for leading me to homebirthing.

Another highly recommended book.

A homeschooling mother from Holland told me that this book is a 'must read'. She went on to say that all mothers in Holland give birth at home in the presence of a midwife. Only in very rare cases are births done in the hospital. She was surprised that the trend in Malaysia was in reverse.

Vaginal Powers! I am discovering inner secrets.
DH is assigned birth companion and has the two books shoved under his nose at certain chapters that I felt required his attention.
He flipped through Ina May's wincing and grimacing at every turn of the page.
DH took some time accepting the fact that he will be the one receiving the baby. Talking to a homebirth father helped to allay some of his fears. He is still skeptical but has come to accept that his wife is adamant.

Next purchase, the birth ball, a 65cm gym ball and a pool.